Talk: The Psychological Games We Play: A relationship communication codebook

Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis in the 1960s, was fascinated by the repetitive behavioural patterns we often fall into in our relationships. He called these patterns “psychological games”—cycles of interaction that leave us feeling frustrated, misunderstood, or hurt. Despite being coined decades ago, these concepts are still powerful tools today for understanding our relationship dynamics. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “Why am I back here again?”, this talk is for you!

In this talk, we’ll delve into the concept of psychological games, exploring different models that help us identify and understand these recurring patterns. We’ll look at real-life examples of games we might play—from the milder ones we joke about to friends, to the more destructive patterns that can lead to divorce, job loss, injury, or even legal consequences. Most importantly, we’ll discuss how recognising these patterns can empower us to make different choices and shift towards healthier, more fulfilling outcomes.

Doors open at 7pm, talk starts at 7:30pm – come down early to grab a bit to eat!

Speaker bio:

Nikki Millard is a UKCP Registered Psychotherapist, TA Trainer and Supervisor. She has a private practice in North London, and is the Head of Programme for the Diploma/MSc training in TA Psychotherapy at the Metanoia Institute in London. Nikki specialises in working with the dynamics of relationships, understanding how our past experiences may impact our present, and offers psychotherapy and supervision to individuals, couples and groups. She has a corporate background prior to training as a psychotherapist, and is experienced at working with organisations to implement change programmes.